Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
