Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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