at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
