Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
