you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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