I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
worst night to have a conscience
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
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So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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