is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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