Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
