I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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