she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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