I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
