I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
