put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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