his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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