Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
