i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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