I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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