I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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