drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
