god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
