I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
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It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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