I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
