I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
