glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
