im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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