I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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