Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
