i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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