The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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