I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
