I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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