I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
