I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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