she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
