why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
