Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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