WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
