i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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