listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Randomize
