Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
jump out the window naked night went bad
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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