why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"