Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hippo gnu deer
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.