I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
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Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...