Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
