i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
