See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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