bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
