Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
