Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
