So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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