Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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