I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
