I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
