I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my liver is dry heaving
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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