I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
