Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize