look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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