she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
