youre lurking in front of me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
