not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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