Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
